so good, so so good to me.

God is gracious. God is faithful. This week has been full of joy and peace. I am so thankful to say I have experienced salvation and the love of a forgiving, awesome God. Jesus fills my heart up. 


"I waited patiently upon the Lord and He inclined and heard my cry.
He pulled me out of the miry clay. He set my feet upon a rock.

He gave me beauty for ashes, and joy for my mourning, and praise for heaviness
He put a new song in my mouth and a crown upon my head.
He gave me life forevermore.


He's been so good, so so good to me. So good, so so good to me. So good, so so good to me.
Jesus. He's been so good, so so good to me.


Cause He picked me up and He turned me around and He placed my feet on the solid ground.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah


I've got love, joy, peace, and righteousness in the Holy Spirit. woah-oh-oh-oh. yeah.


He's been so good, so so good to me. So good, so so good to me. So good, so so good to me.
Jesus. He's been so good, so so good to me."

 Jesus has been so good, so so good to me.

Jesus is so good, so so good to me.

Jesus will be so good, so so good to me.

my King makes me smile. He gives me love. He gives me joy. He gives me peace. He teaches me to be righteous. I'm so ever thankful for this lovely Creator. this lovely Savior. He is incredible. i am desperate for Him. He is holy. He is worthy. He loves me. He loves me. Oh, how He loves me. I love His goodness. I love His righteousness. I love His peace. I love His joy. I love His love. I love Him.

oh, how i love you, Jesus. thank You for never leaving me. thank You for your love. thank You for being who You are. thank You for being so good, so so good to me. i hold my heart out to You. i love You. i love You. i love You.

worship is more than a song.

"you can sing all you want to and still get it wrong. oh, worship is more than a song."

These lyrics have been on my heart alot the past few weeks. I have cried over them. I've been stung by them. I've smiled over them. but, mostly, I've just been humbled by them.

Worship is a beautiful thing to me. It's meant to be sincere, & far too often, it's not. Far too often, I catch myself just singing a song in a crowded room, calling it worship. i get carried away with the decorations & i forget we can worship anywhere. i forget worship is more than a song. i forget worship is supposed to be a life-style. i forget worship is praising Jesus & giving God all the glory.

"The Lord says: 'These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men."  -Isaiah 29:13

I do not want God to say this of me. I want His worship from my mouth to be sincere. to be real.  I want His worship from my life to bring Him glory, honor, and fame. I want the life I live to reflect Jesus' love & mercy & grace. the love & mercy & grace He daily shows me. I desire for my heart to be close to God.

today has been a good day of worship for my heart. it's been a good day for this divine romance, and I desire for my worship to be so much more than a song.

change me by your beauty, Lord.  teach me to love like you. fill my heart with you. remind me that worship is more than a song.

Clear the Stage by Jimmy Needham

Songs of Praise

Isaiah 12.

"In that day you will say:


'I will praise you, O Lord. 
Although you were angry with me, 
your anger has turned away 
and you have comforted me.
Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.'
With joy you will draw water 
from the wells of salvation.


In that day you will say:


'Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done,
and proclaim that his name is exalted.
Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious things;
let this be known to all the world.
Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion,
for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.'"

 I read this chapter last night. I reread it about 10 times just to let it sink in.
I'm so thankful for a God I can praise ALL the time.
but more than that...
I'm so thankful for a God who deserves my praise ALL the time.

Jesus is my strength & my song.
Jesus has become my salvation.
& because of that,

I will give thanks & sing joyful songs of praise to our mighty King!

Jesus knows my heart.

Psalm 37:4

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

I see this verse everywhere, all the time, but this week it has taken on a new meaning in my life. 

I mean, this verse is just so pure. Short, simple, & to the point. If you delight yourself in God, He will give you what your heart desires, or longs for.
But here's what I've been thinking. Maybe if I delight myself in God, He will give me the unknown desires of my heart. Desires that are definitely in my heart, but desires that I don't know I want.
God knows ALL. So what if God knows what I truly desire as compared to what I think I desire today. I trust God knows my heart inside and out [how beautiful is the sound of that?] & God is no servant of time. He knows my heart yesterday, today, & tomorrow.
Jesus knows my heart
in the past, present, & future.
Jesus knew my heart from the moment I was born.
Actually, Jesus knew my heart forever. ALWAYS.
He is no servant of time. God has had me planned for forever. [Talk about humbling!]

I trust Jesus has a beautiful plan for my life. a plan that will bring Him glory, honor, & fame.
I trust Jesus longs for me to delight myself in Him... in this divine romance.
I trust Jesus will give me the desires of my heart in time.
but, I also trust Jesus will give me the unknown desires of my heart.

I will commit myself to God's way and trust in Him.
He knows everything about me. He has knitted my heart together and He knows all the plans He has for me. He knows all the desires of my heart and that makes me beyond happy.

I am so thankful to serve a God who can't be over exaggerated...
a God who is the same wherever I am, forever...
a God who loves me for me even when He knows everything about me...
a God who is proud of me and always forgives me time and time again...
a God who is worthy of all my praise...
a God who I can share my joy with...
a God who allows me to praise Him wherever I am...
a God who longs for a relationship with me... a divine romance with me...
a God who knows all of the desires of my heart...
I am so thankful for my God, my Jesus.

Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Jesus knows my heart,
& for this, I am ever thankful.

follow Him blindly.

Last night I was on the floor leaning against my bed with my Bible flipped open to Isaiah 61. [You should definitely go read it really quick] I've been opening up to this chapter a lot lately because God has really been using it to speak to me. I started reading verse 1.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."

I made it through verse 1. That's when it clicked.
I looked up from my Bible & it just hit me.

God desires for me to follow Him.

yeah... I already know that. My desire is for Jesus to teach me how to follow Him all of my days, but it just clicked differently.

not only does God desire for me to follow Him,
He calls me to
FOLLOW HIM BLINDLY. 
completely blind. I guess I've always viewed God's plan for my life, for my future, as an 'our' thing when really it's just His. Jesus knows exactly what He is doing & He doesn't need a backseat driver telling Him where to take me.
Jesus just wants me to follow Him.
I just need to trust He knows exactly where He is driving this beautiful gift called life.

God can't use me for His glory if I don't trust him.
if I don't follow Him blindly.
God can't allow me to preach good news, bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom, comfort for those who mourn, provide for those who grieve, bestow a crown of beauty instead of ashes, or display His splendor unless I completely trust Him & follow Him blindly.

Jesus,
i trust you.
i trust you will make something beautiful out of me.
 i am yours. all yours.
you are beautiful. you are faithful. you are wonderful. you are everything.
teach me to follow you blindly.
i love you.
-me.

Teach us how to follow you. Teach us how to follow you. Teach us how to follow you.

all I am.

[bare with me. it's gonna be longgggg.]

This week has probably been one of the hardest weeks of my life EVER. Forget that. The past 20 days have probably been the hardest, most stressful, 20 day of my entire life. [I'm almost 15.]

but, through these 20 days, my love for Jesus has grown so much stronger.
my faith in Him has become more evident.
and I have been learning just how sweet it is to trust in Jesus.
all I am is His. 

On Monday, April 2nd, my Dad sat my sisters & me down to tell us my Dad had an interview with Seminole ISD. My parents promised us we wouldn't be moving. If my Dad was offered the job, he would drive 40 miles from Lamesa everyday. Everything would still be 'normal.'

yeah.... okay. Normal??? sure.

Last semester, the possibility of moving had crossed my mind & I struggled with the idea, but ultimately, I gave it to God.
his will.
his way.

I didn't freak out though because it was just an interview. I did however, ask a good friend, a good brother in Christ, to pray for us. to pray for God's will. I am thankful that he has been praying.


Other than praying, I didn't really think about the issue. I was distracted at almost all times. You see, I've had two school competitions I was preparing for at the beginning of April.
State FCCLA. & State Community Problem Solving.
I prayed for God to have His way. & that was that.
I didn't really worry about the possibility of my Dad getting the job... or the possibility of moving.
That is, until after State weekend. [both competitions were the same weekend.]


I got back late Saturday, April 14th. My Dad went as a sponsor on the trip, & I'd overheard him talking about being offered the job. I confided in the same friend who has been praying, that Sunday. Then Monday night, my parents told us he had been offered a job & Seminole was offering my Mom a job as well.


hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... that's when the fear kicked in. the fear of the possibility of moving.
 that's when the hardest week EVER began.

I've lived in Lamesa since I was 6 weeks old. I love this little town. This is home. 
I have my whole high school career planned out here. I knew the classes I was going to take every year. I had goals set in all of the extracurricular activities I'm in. I've been working really hard to become valedictorian of Lamesa's Class of 2015 as well. [I've been brainstorming speech ideas since 7th grade.] As for after high school, God could do what He wants... but I guess I've always considered high school being in my own hands, not His.
I have so many wants & desires here:
-FCCLA officer [Seminole doesn't have a FCCLA chapter.]
-CmPS internationals all 4 years [Seminole doesn't have a CmPS team]
-Student Council class president all 4 years [I won't be able to be in StuCo next year]
-paint the wall before I graduate my senior year [a Tornado tradition]
-family [I'm lucky to be so close to my extended family]
 -friends [I have some of the best friends in the world]
the list goes on & on.
Every time I surrender one of these desire to God, a new want pops into my head.

The hardest desire, the desire I long for the most, the desire I've extremely struggled with giving to God:
his people.
my church family.
my youth group.
It's been rough. I love them SOOO dearly & have grown so much with them. I've been going to FBC Lamesa since I was a little girl. those people, his people, make me smile. I'm so blessed with them. & to give up my youth group? to give my youth group away??
the. absolute. hardest. thing. I've. ever. done. 

but, I've done it. I've have handed over my biggest desire to God.
& in return? I have peace. I have joy. I am content.

Now that's not to say I don't still think about moving. If I'm completely honest, I have felt every single emotion possible this week, at the same time.
upset/ terribly sad/ bummed/ anxious/ nervous/ stressed/ desire/ disappointed/ confused/ weak/ frustrated/ excited/ happy/ love.
every emotion except: mad/ hate. Oddly, neither have interfered with this divine romance.
Though alot of tears have been shed this week, & alot more tears are to come, I trust in Jesus. I know His plan is much better than even a portion of my own. I don't know why He does all the things He does, but I love Him anyway.
He is peaceful.
He is joyful.
He is trustworthy.
He is forgiving.
He is understanding.
He is full of love.
He is my everything.
I give Him every want. every desire. I belong to Him.

I trust in Jesus with all my heart.
I lean not on my own understanding. My life is in the hands of the maker of Heaven.
I acknowledge Him, always.
He makes my path straight.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

Jesus,
please continue to teach me how to follow You. please continue to teach me how to trust You. please continue to teach me how to acknowledge You. please continue to teach me how to lean not on my own understanding. please use me. all i am is Yours. i give You everything. to You i belong. God, I surrender all that i am for Your glory, Your honor, Your fame. all i am is Yours.
-me.

Everything I do is for His glory, His honor, His fame. I trust in His perfect divine plan. I am second. All I am is Jesus'.
forever. always.
my heart is His.
my soul is His.
I belong to my beautiful King.
all i am is Jesus'.

 [check out this song. it's great. this is my pray.]
All I Am by Phil Wickham

Psalm 42

"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirst for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
'Where is your God?'
These things I remember,
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God.
...
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God."

-Psalm 42:1-5 &11

Bless the Lord, O my Soul & let all that is within me shine out.

Jesus,
have your way in me. teach me how to follow you. use me to glorify you. all I am is yours.